throw it in the nearest well, cried john lancelot … and if you can not throw it in a well, get it out of my sight…
i will do that, sire, ezekiel replied, i will have it taken to the monastery forthwith..
true to his word, the prophet ezekiel took the redfaced child to the nearest monastery and left it with the abbott, st osiris, with a special commandment to raise it as best he could to be a paragon of virtue, courage, and wisdom to send a light down the ages until judgment day.
st osiris, with his quiet and suave manner, promised to do what he could, and ezekiel went on his way, as did the three other worthies who had witnessed the birth of the child of fate.
ezekiel rode away to the east, st francis the lover of birds to the west, eusebius the exegete to the north, and st jerome to the south.
but there was another witness to the singular birth who did not ride away, and that was the gray and black goat who had awakened at the child’s first cry.
the goat had followed the four wise men to the monastery and watched from the shadow of a twisted tree as st osiris reentered the monastery and the four witnesses rode away.
looking around to make sure there were no observers, the goat transformed itself into a stout peasant girl, without beauty or female allure, but with a broad back and shoulders portending great strength.
the peasant girl waited under the shade of the tree until the moon was full in the sky, and then approached the monastery.
she knocked loudly on the door of the monastery.
good heavens, exclaimed brother orpheus, who was charged with the duty of gatekeeper, but who had, given the lateness of the hour, indulged himself by falling into a doze. who or what can that be? what manner of creature could knock so loudly? it sounds like the great giant of st barnabas’s swamp, come to raise the dead.
with a great sigh, and a slight trembling of his limbs, the worthy brother advanced to the door and cautiously opened it.
his fear changed to annoyance when he beheld the humbly hulking peasant girl.
“what is this? “ he demanded. “how do you disturb these holy walls? do you not know it is the hour of prayer?”
“i beg your pardon, worthy monk, but i thought it was always the hour of prayer,” the maid replied, and though the words had a touch of insolence, the tone of her speech was so grovelingly humble that the brother found himself laughing.
“that is all very well, my girl, but what brings you here? and i am only a brother, not a monk.” orpheus added modestly.
“i am a weary traveler, sir brother, and i have been walking the kings highway. i was hoping to find a bite to eat and a patch of straw to lie on. i am willing to work, and have the strength of three yeoman.”
“yes, you look it,” laughed orpheus. “but you know , the highway is no place for a young maid, even one so ill favored as yourself. perhaps you could find -“ he stopped, remembering the babe that the abbot had taken in earlier in there evening.
“look here, would you happen to be in condition to nurse a child? we have just taken one in, a monstrous looking little brute who looks like he could drain the great sphinx, if it had tits. do you think you could help us out in this regard?”
“not i myself, worthy brother, but mayhap i know one who might.”
“oh? i thought you were a weary traveler, a stranger in these parts.”
“that i be, but i fell in with one other like myself, a poor widow who has lost her husband and new born child to the scourge of war. i left her about a mile back, as she wished to rest under a hedge.”
“hmm. well, why do you not go back and see if you can find her? in the meantime i will have a word with the abbot. i make no promises, but it could be that we can find use for both of you. or at least provide you with a spoonful or two of gruel.”
“you are the true dispenser of the virgin’s mercy on this earth, brother.,” the girl replied, and again, the humble tone belied the sly words, and the brother found himself smiling.
"very well, but when you return, you need not knock quite so loudly. i was afraid you would knock this ancient door off its hinges.”
the girl nodded.
the brother closed the door again, and watched as the peasant girl departed.
but no sooner had she rounded the bend in the road, than she transformed herself back into the goat, and trotted briskly down the highway until she came to a thick hedge under which lay a serpent.
the goat explained the situation to the serpent, and the serpent wrapped itself around the goat’s neck and the goat went back up to the road toward the monastery.
when they reached the bend, the snake slithered off the goat’s back and turned into a tall strapping peasant woman who looked like she could beat beelzebub with a stick.
the goat resumed the form of the peasant girl.
“a word of caution,” said the peasant girl to her new companion. “keep your eyes downcast toward the ground as much as possible. most of these friars are brainless churls, but a few might see the fire in our eyes, which we can never completely conceal.”
“you need not tell me my business. i have been a demon for many thousands of years more than yourself.”
and with that they approached the monastery, with the full moon shining down on them.
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