Monday, February 19, 2018

the road to the wicked city - 28. betty and buddy in the castle of the monster

by jeremy witherington

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here





betty: we have no money in our pockets
and our skulls are empty sockets
as down the endless road we wander
our sad fates we ever ponder

buddy: but, betty, though the road be dark
our carcasses we still must park
somewhere in a castle or cave
from the ravenous mouths of night to be saved

betty whacks buddy , he sprawls and quickly jumps up


betty: keep your eyes open, you boob
you pitiful hay-chewing rube
i hear there’s a castle in these parts
where they practice the dark arts

the monster who owns the establishment
keeps watch upon the battlement
and welcomes with open arms
those who flee nature’s harsh charms

buddy: but would not we be better off
though winter winds make us hack and cough
than delivering ourselves to the tender attentions
of those who practice what is too horrible to mention

betty whacks buddy again, he sprawls and jumps up

betty; such considerations might fit
those of your limited wit
but just stick with me
and i will handle the monster, you will see

but hark! i hear the monster now
or his footsteps anyhow
see his red eyes pierce the gloom!
he will be upon us soon

leander, who had been playing buddy, takes the part of the monster

monster: ha ha ha! just as i thought
here are some humans for my pot
some tasty bones to boil until dawn
and some guts to feast upon

first dragoon: this is dreary stuff

third dragoon: indeed

second dragoon: a little more action, please, if you want a penny

betty (spinning and jumping into the air) : oh mister monster have a heart
and for once please take the part
of a kind and gracious host
can you not summon up the ghost

of those happy long ago days
when you ran through the woods and played
with your dog like a natural child
and the sun looked down and smiled

monster: do not waste your time and mine
with your sentimental lines
i only want one thing from you
and that is on your bones to chew

monster lurches toward betty, but she dances away from him

betty: have you nothing more to say?
soon it will be break of day
your monstrous powers will be gone
vanished in the dewy dawn

monster stumbles toward betty, she dances away again, and does somersaults

monster: gracious maiden, hear my plea
do not think so ill of me
an evil mage hath placed a curse
on - on - on - at my birth -

monster falls on his face

betty: what, have you forgot your lines?
what did i tell you the last time?

betty jumps on monster and begins pummeling him.

dragoons laugh, throw a few coins at betty and monster


29. ancestors



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